Cancelled ticket to Paris as I'm feeling suicidal. Will hopefully get through ok and pick up another in about six weeks, just need to fix up a little.
99% of the time I'm unhappy but not suicidal. I hope I don't kill myself when I'm in that one percent.
I genuinely don't believe I will. As long as I believe that I don't feel unsafe, just scared.
Sunday 22 January 2012
Tuesday 17 January 2012
Quick Post.
Hello all!
First off all, I'm sorry I still haven't written back to those who wrote to me a while ago. I will get around to doing so, I promise!
Second, I'm not at all well. The daylight is scaring me and the night times are lonely. When the day isn't scary I get scared that I wasn't scared, and when the nights aren't lonely I wish they were. Nothing is making me happy at the moment, least of all myself.
I have a couple of promising work meetings coming up, which is lovely as I really enjoy them even when nothing comes to fruition financially. I have been selling and saving and have amassed almost enough to take off on my voyage. When I do, I will start a new blog and post the link here. I would simply post here about it all, but I want to be able to keep in touch with friends and family through it and I'm not comfortable with people I know seeing and reading what I've written to you guys. The other blog will be more cheerful, although not dishonest if possible.
As I said, I will speak to you all soon and put special care into the messages to the select few who have a been so generous with their time to me over the past month or so.
Next time I speak to you, it will be the night before I leave (around two weeks from now) and I will tell you how I'm feeling about my trip and what I plan to do on it.
Hope you're all well!
First off all, I'm sorry I still haven't written back to those who wrote to me a while ago. I will get around to doing so, I promise!
Second, I'm not at all well. The daylight is scaring me and the night times are lonely. When the day isn't scary I get scared that I wasn't scared, and when the nights aren't lonely I wish they were. Nothing is making me happy at the moment, least of all myself.
I have a couple of promising work meetings coming up, which is lovely as I really enjoy them even when nothing comes to fruition financially. I have been selling and saving and have amassed almost enough to take off on my voyage. When I do, I will start a new blog and post the link here. I would simply post here about it all, but I want to be able to keep in touch with friends and family through it and I'm not comfortable with people I know seeing and reading what I've written to you guys. The other blog will be more cheerful, although not dishonest if possible.
As I said, I will speak to you all soon and put special care into the messages to the select few who have a been so generous with their time to me over the past month or so.
Next time I speak to you, it will be the night before I leave (around two weeks from now) and I will tell you how I'm feeling about my trip and what I plan to do on it.
Hope you're all well!
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